The Best I Have Been
by HeroTime26
Summary: Since the beginning of college, Ben has been separated from Gwen. When something shows up in his doorstep at night, he finds something amiss. BxG. CHAPPY 2 IS UP!
1. Suffocating is easier than Sleep

He first thought it was homesickness.

The way he felt restless when he was lying on his bed. The way his mind would always go off to his hometown in Bellwood. How his memories of his childhood heroic days would pop up in his head just as he was about to get some shut eye. As his tormenting memories have been becoming more and more frequent and disturbing, he realized that this was homesickness at its worst. This was the disgusting feeling of nostalgia. Every night, this would return to him. Every night he finds himself longing to get out of his college and travel back to Bellwood. And every night, he gets a little bit more suffocated from the insomnia that resulted.

But tonight, it was different. He rested on his bed. His eyes were idly fixed on the ceiling fan and his ears were much distracted by the snoring of his roommate. Yet, his mind somehow found its way to be somewhere else.

He remembered how he would travel around the country with his grandfather and his cousin, Gwen. Yes, life was exciting then, compared to his days of monotony now that he's trying to have a normal life. A faint smile grew on his lips as he recalled those times and everyone in them. Mostly on Gwen. He remembered how she was the very first girl to make him feel so comfortable. The way they would sneak off to fight aliens when they were teens. He remembered Kevin. That spoiled son-of-a-metal-slab (1). Ben hated that guy to the might but they turned out to be good friends. Then again, Kevin tried to steal Gwen away. Then again, again, Gwen refused Kevin. Then again, again, again, they had little time left because college had to steal Ben away when he received an athlete's scholarship. He left Gwen without confirming the real stand on their relationship. No 'I Love You's', just a leave.

The eighteen year old sighed. _'High school sucked' _he thought. He sat up from his bed and looked over to his roommate's bed. _'Still asleep' _he noted. Ben got on his feet and walked towards the door. As he entered the hallway, he heard a tapping at the door from downstairs. '_Guess I'm not the only one awake'._

Thinking it might be a friend of his drunk from another party, Ben walked downstairs to answer the door. The tapping became louder and faster. "Yeah I'm coming!" he called out. _'Sheesh, Dan, could you be for real?'_ But the knocks were persistent.

"WHAT?!" he growled when he swung the door open.

His eyes fell on what was before him and he could only feel confused.

* * *

It was around 10 o' clock in the morning. Ben was lying down lazily on the couch while watching some stupid reruns on TV. Just then, someone came in through the door.

"There you are Jamie!" the person greeted. Ben winced at the nickname. He glared at the man.

He grumbled. "What do you mean 'There you are Jamie'? You're the punk who was missing last night, Dan. Mrs. Henry was looking for you."

"You didn't tell her I was out last night, did you?"

'_Stupid question'. _"Didn't need to. She took a guess all by herself and now, she's out to get your neck."

Suddenly, a yell was heard from upstairs. "DANIEL, YOU BETTER WASH THAT ALCOHOL STENCH OFF OF YOU AND CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM OR YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!"

Dan looked at Ben with pleading eyes. "Help me!" he mouthed. Ben, on the hand, mouthed an apathetic 'no' in return. When Mrs. Henry, the dubbed 'dorm house dictator' came down the stairs, Daniel left in a hurry, leaving Ben alone.

"Good morning, ma'am" he greeted, forcing a gentle smile on his face. The elderly lady smiled in return.

"Does your class start early today? Is that why you're up so early?" she asked. Ben couldn't see how she thought ten in the morning was early. _'Maybe I can't tell what early is anymore from all those sleepless nights" _he thought.

"Nah," he replied. "Couldn't sleep. I've been getting less rest nowadays." He gave out a little chuckle. The woman asked, "Is your girlfriend keeping you up all night?"

Before Ben could answer, Dan came barging back in. "Lady, you didn't just ask Bigshot about his love life!" he exclaimed, gesturing her to back off. "He won't answer you."

Mrs. Henry just sighed and left. "Dude, you can't just talk to your grandma like that!' Ben said. Dan gave a 'Yes I can' look and pulled up a chair right next to Ben's couch. "So, who's this girl you keep thinking of? She hot? She has friends or something?"

Ben looked at him in disbelief. Then again, he was somewhat right about how he would think of Gwen. And yes, she is hot. "Whether or not she has friends, don't think I'll introduce them to an idiot like you."

"So there is a girl?"

"Put a sock in it, Henry." (2)

"Oh, so you're being secretive. Nice."

"Back off."

"You don't wanna share the goodies?"(3)

"Holy shit! Are you for real?"

"I – hey, what's that?" Fortunately for Ben, his friend had a short attention span. Unfortunately, he discovered the small package beside Ben' couch.

"I got it last night. Don't know where it's from; don't know what to do with it." Ben shrugged. Dan just raised and eyebrow and looked at Ben. After a couple of minutes of nothing, the bored Dan went off to do whatever he does.

Ben, noticing that he was alone once more, pulled out his cellphone from his pocket. _"I certainly don't know where it's from or what to do with it, but I know just what to do." _as he started dialing.

"Gwen? I need to speak with you."

* * *

A/n: HELLO! I'm uploading my first chapter of my BenxGwen fic. It's actually based on a graphic novel I'm currently working on. I know it's long and dragging, but I promise the next chapters will be shorter.

(1)Sorry, couldn't help myself. ^0^

(2)Daniel Henry, gets?

(3)"Men are after one thing" If you know what I mean.. Goodies may be that something.

More power to BenxGwen! ^0^

Reviews, constructive criticisms, questions or blackmail (joke) are welcomed.


	2. Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been

There was something about the sunrise.

She gazed up at the dark sky welcoming the day. A dividing line was drawn across the clouds with one side still glimmering with the stars. The other was gloriously splattered with warm colored paint. The wind was pleasant but hollowing all the same.

She walked on with the wind blowing through her fiery hair while her footsteps echoed as she walked on the pavement of a sleepy morning. On her hand, she held flowers of gold whose lazy petals danced and joined the wind. She skin was fair and her figure was beautiful. Her dress lightly flowed in the direction of the wind. She looked like a goddess walking through a ghost town; warm, strong and powerful. But the coolness in her eyes showed that she was gentle.

No. Not gentle. Mourning.

She has been lonely all these years.

A sigh escaped her lips as she walked on. No one else around her to gaze at her. No one that she can talk to. No one that may open up to her. No one.

Tears formed in her eyes. As much as she wanted to fight them, they managed to roll down her cheeks.

The woman continued to make her way to her destination- the cemetery. Here, she would visit her beloved.

She first stopped at a familiar gravestone. _Maxwell Tennyson_, it read. She smiled and inhaled soft air. This was her grandfather who protected her and raised her.

But he was not the reason why she was there. The smile slowly disappeared and she looked down.

She made a slow turn and counted the steps to the grave where a man named Benjamin was buried. Where her Benjamin was buried. Her Ben. Her love-- lost.

_One, _she said under her breath. _Two, Three, Four, Five, Six…_

She continued. She found it harder and harder to count her steps. In every count, memories would come rushing back to her.

She remembered how he would make her smile and laugh without a care.

How he always managed to save the day, putting others' safety before his own.

How he supported her in his own innocent and sincere ways.

How her befriended the most unexpected strangers to come their way.

_Sixteen, Seventeen..._

How he subtly protected her from the possible dangers that may come.

How he chose her happiness over his own and made sure she would stay happy.

_Eighteen, Nineteen…_

That was the Ben she knew. But she has not seen him in a long time.

_Twenty …_

He got in way between her and Kevin. At that time, he seemed to be meddling in their affairs. But now that she looks back on it, he was only protecting her. Kevin only meant to hurt her.

_Twenty-one…_

She was also envious of Ben. She admired the way he can stay true to his feelings and openly follow his heart. She had always had cowardice to do such.

_Twenty-two…_

She wanted to muster the same strength to understand her own feelings. And he was there to help her.

_Twenty-three…_

By the time she realized her feelings for him, it was too late. He had left. As a person who wanted to return the favor of securing happiness for another, she could only let him go.

_Twenty-four._

She had one regret though. Neither of them said goodbye. They were separated without knowing their feelings for one another. She never heard the words she wished would come from his lips. Now was too late.

_Twenty-five._

"I love you, Ben" she exhaled as she slowly looked up.

Her eyes widened in shock.

There, standing before his own grave was the very man he longed to see. He was standing silent and serene looking down at the gravestone with melancholic green eyes. His hands were casually inserted in the pockets of the coat he donned. His brown hair shone lightly against the sun's growing light. He stood tall yet, undisturbed. He had not noticed the woman standing a few feet behind him.

Tears flooded her eyes while her hands reached and covered her mouth. The flowers fell and the low tap of sound it made as it hit the ground startled the man.

He looked around and both pairs of green eyes met. For the first time in a long time.

Hers were teary and full of joy. His were regretful and his body tensed, as if he did not want to be there. Indeed, he didn't.

"I thought you were dead" the lady managed to say in between her sobs. She reached out and held the man's hand. "Where were you?"

His eyes were downcast. After a moment of being quite, he looked up and wordlessly mouthed something.

She didn't catch what he said but hoped that it had been what she wished to hear him say.

She held him close in a hug and cried. "Please tell me."

"You know," a voice came. "Your cellphone's been ringing for quite some time now."

_Huh?_

_

* * *

_

"Ah!" Gwen gasped as she sat up from bed.

"Well, good morning to you too, sleepyhead" her mom said. She was seated on the stool by Gwen's bedside. She looked at Gwen's cellphone. "You gonna answer that?"

Gwen, clumsily, reached over to get her cellphone on the nightstand, knocking the picture frame over.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Gwen?" a voice came.

_Wait. It can't be!_

"I need to speak with you."

_It was really him!_

"Uh, sure Ben" she nervously replied. "What about?" _Please tell me you miss me and you want to see me!_

"Look," Ben said. "I'll be coming over by this afternoon. Hopefully I can meet up with you somewhere."

Gwen gulped. _He wants to se me today? But he's so far away. _"Sure, but won't you find it hard to travel back within half a day."

She heard a chuckle. "Nothing would be to hard. I want to see you badly."

Her heart skipped a beat. She didn't know what to say. "I-.I—"

"Gwen?"

Gwen inhaled. "Sure, I'll be there. Couldn't wait to see you either. Let's say Mr. Smoothy, 3:00?"

Again, she heard a chuckle. "Okay, will do! See you there, Gwen."

Both hung up their phones.

"Oh my God, Ben's coming!" she exclaimed.

Her mom, who was now downstairs, yelled back. "That's great! It's nice to hear from him now, don't you think?"

As Gwen made her way downstairs, she heard her father ask about Ben.

"He's fine, apparently" she replied.

"Good. I thought his Grandpa Max's death would scar him for years" he said, going back to his coffee.

"No. That's not like Benjamin at all!" her mother contradicted.

Suddenly, Gwen's breakfast tasted bitter when she remembered her dream.

_What was that all about?_

_

* * *

_

A/N: hey there. sorry this was late. holidays got me caught up. ignore the typos. i'm sleepy.

anyway, as you can see, this chapter is weird and surreal to match the whole dreamy thingy going on.

as i have said before, this is based on my graphic novel (which i will have yet to upload). this is actually an important chapter in it cause it forshadows an event that will take place after many years prior to this chapter. Take note of this. XD

again, reviews are welcomed. to the previous reviewers, thanks. i didn't think anyone would read this at all.


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